Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me, for sure.
I hope so.
I’m extremely fortunate to have amazing friends who keep me active and engaged. But it’s not just luck. I’ve realized that without children and siblings, apart from my husband, my friends will be critical as I age. Because of that, I’ve made a concerted effort to maintain my friendships. And because many of us don’t have children, we are able to commit quality time to each other. Any time my husband and I consider moving to a different city, we decide against it because we’ve spent many years building up our friend group here. A younger me wouldn’t have been too concerned about finding new friends in a new city, but current me realizes that solid friendships take years to develop and are harder to come by as you age.
Besides being a kick in the pants, my friends are, in fact, helping me live longer. Studies have shown that loneliness is a huge health risk, and having friends may be a bigger bulwark against this than family. One component of this has to be laughter, which might actually be the best medicine. I realized recently that whenever I’m with my friends (my girlfriends, especially), we are laughing (ok, cackling) most of the time.
But here’s the rub: we are all still youngish, with most of us in our late 30’s to early 50’s. What happens when we’re 70? 80? 90? Who will still live near me? Who will still be alive? Many of my friends already complain about the gloomy weather and high cost of living here in Seattle and if they don’t leave soon, it’s likely they’ll leave as they get older. Additionally, many of my friends are fortunate to have siblings and numerous nieces and nephews and may move to be closer to them as they age. My friends and I joke about how it’ll be when we’re living the Golden Girls dream together. Some of us have worked through a handbook on senior cohousing to try and determine if it would be right for us. But the truth is, it’s too soon to know where we’ll be 20-40 years from now, when job constraints don’t limit where we can live. The only thing I can do right now is keep making my friends a priority, enjoying my time with them, and hoping that I’ll be able to count on at least some of them until the end.